Anyone tried better retargeting ideas for dating commercials

[datingads]

I’ve been thinking about this a lot lately, so I figured I’d toss it in here and see if anyone else has gone through the same thing. You know how you run Dating Commercials, get decent traffic, but the conversions just sort of… hover? Not terrible, not great, just meh. That was me for months. I kept wondering if I was just missing something obvious, especially when people would click, browse around, and then disappear forever.

At first, I honestly thought retargeting was just another buzzword people threw around to sound smart. I kept ignoring it because I assumed it’d be too complicated or too “big brand” for someone like me. But then I noticed a pattern: a ton of users were dropping off right after the first touch. Not because the offer was bad, but because they just weren’t ready or needed a nudge that I wasn’t giving. That’s when it hit me that maybe my approach to Dating Commercials was fine… but my follow-up wasn’t.

So I finally started poking around and testing things. And wow, the difference it made was bigger than I expected. Not overnight magic or anything, but enough to make me feel silly for avoiding it for so long. One of the first things I tried was breaking users into small behavior groups instead of treating everyone the same. I always thought segmentation sounded like a “data scientist thing,” but it turns out it’s basically just noticing what people clicked on. If someone checked profiles but didn’t sign up, that’s one group. If someone watched a video but left halfway through, that’s another. Once I separated them, the ads felt almost easier to make because I wasn’t trying to talk to everyone in the same way.

Another thing I learned quickly was that retargeting works better when it isn’t pushy. Before testing it myself, I assumed retargeting meant following people around the internet like a creepy ex. But the softer approach honestly brought better results for me. Things like friendly reminders, simple “still interested?” messages, or showing content rather than pushing signups ended up getting more engagement. It felt more natural, and I think users could feel that difference too.

I also messed around with timing. This was one of those things I never considered before. I used to send all my retargeting ads immediately after the user left. Turns out a short pause actually worked better. People seem more open when the ad feels like a gentle callback instead of a frantic chase. Spacing things out helped me avoid ad fatigue, and it made everything feel calmer. Funny how such a small tweak can change the vibe completely.

Around the time I was experimenting, I stumbled upon this post that breaks things down in a simple, non-techy way. It gave me a good starting point without overwhelming me, so I’ll drop it here in case it helps someone else who’s stuck like I was:
Retargeting strategies for Online Dating Commercials.
It nudged me into trying stuff I had ignored for no reason other than habit.

Anyway, after a few weeks of playing around, the biggest thing I realized was that retargeting isn’t about squeezing conversions aggressively. It’s more like nudging people who were already curious. Most users aren’t saying “no,” they’re just saying “not right now.” And a gentle reminder later sometimes catches them in a better mood, or with fewer distractions.

Something else that worked well for me was swapping creatives for different retargeting stages. Not like a full redesign, but small shifts—different colors, more relaxed wording, less salesy energy. If someone didn’t react to my first ad, showing them the same one again didn’t do much. But switching the tone slightly made people more responsive. Even simple things like a calming background or a shorter line of text sometimes made a difference.

I tried testing formats too—carousel, short clips, even plain images. The funny thing is, the “simple” creatives often worked better than the flashy ones. Maybe because they felt more honest, less like traditional advertising. People browsing dating platforms already see a ton of polished ads, so something that feels normal or personal tends to stand out.

Now, I’m not pretending I cracked the entire system or anything. Retargeting is one of those ongoing experiments. But at least now I feel like I’m not leaving easy wins on the table. If you’re like me and avoided retargeting because it sounded too technical or aggressive, maybe try easing into it. Start with one audience segment, one soft message, and just see how people respond.

Would love to hear if anyone else has tried similar tweaks or completely different approaches. I’m still learning, so any real-world experiences are super helpful.